*Psst* I wanna ask you something, just between you and me…
Is Clutter Killing Your Romance?
(read below or watch the video above, as you wish)
I read a meme once that advised, “Before you get married ask, ‘What is a reasonable number of t-shirts for one person to own.’ Because it will come up.”
It’s February, the Month of Romance.
But if you and your mate are arguing about “stuff,” you’re probably not feelin’ the Love! Because the Universe has a sense of humor, we usually match up with our exact opposite, which is why studies show that 48% of couples argue about clutter (sparefoot.com). I’m here to help you get your spark back before you just burn it all down.
First, talk about it together with an open mind and heart.
See if you are both on the same page or not. Go through the house and see which areas are most aggravating to each of you and make a list of priority areas. Make a list of what needs to be done for one or both of you to feel satisfied. Ideally, this will help you each understand each other’s issues and goals more clearly.
Decide whether you will work together or separately.
If each of you will be in charge of certain areas or items, or if one of you will do the gathering and clearing. Last, agree on who needs to review items before they leave the house. For example, the old DVDs may be donated without review, but tools and books have to be reviewed by both.
Schedule time, whether it’s together or each on your own time.
Put it on the calendar, even if it’s just a few minutes at a time. If one of you will be clearing and the other reviewing, set a timeline for that review, so that the stuff doesn’t just end up in a pile in the hallway forever.
It is very important that you are on the same page regarding sentimental or heirloom items, and never, ever remove or rearrange your mate’s personal items, especially if there is any contention. Focus on your own stuff and, hopefully, your mate will follow.
Make a pact that certain areas are to remain clear, like the kitchen counter, the home office, master bedroom and other shared spaces. Consider this – you can make different rules for different types of spaces, which can help when you and your mate have fundamentally different ideas of what “clutter” means. For example, you might designate specific areas that each of you can leave as messy as you like without comment from the other. (I recommend a room with a door, but that’s just me.) That may be one side of the garage, the man cave, craft room or a closet. Yes, this can be difficult, but compromising can be liberating.
If you’ve been arguing a long time and can’t get on the same page, get help. Hire a professional organizer to referee the process or see a counselor, because arguing about domestic habits and struggling to live supportively together may be a symptom of a deeper relationship issue.
No matter what your dynamic, remember that your relationship is more important than any stuff and schedule a date night or play day together to reward your hard work. Clearing the clutter will help clear the air and get your spark back!
Here’s to romance! Jennifer
Need a referee (or just a little direction)? Schedule your FREE 30 minute Discovery Call!
(click this pretty ticket)
Click to schedule your FREE 30 minute Discovery Call!
